Okay, so you’ve met the guy of your dreams. Or at least you find him mildly attractive and funny, and now you’d like to make a move. But if you veer on the socially awkward side, or it’s been ages since you’ve been single and your flirting game is admittedly rusty, you might be wondering, “okay, how do I flirt with a guy?”. Let’s get to it.
First thing’s first: sometimes a guy needs to be hit over the head before he realizes that you’re even remotely interested in him. Maybe it’s because he’s used to being rejected or maybe he’s used to making the first move. Who knows? Sometimes a man might think a woman is being “nice” to him rather than flirtatious, which means you might have to use some pretty overt tactics.
Yes, this probably will require you stepping outside of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there but if you want him to know that you’re interested then you’ve got to send up some serious smoke signals. So if you’re into him, here’s how to flirt with him.
Step One: Eye contact
Eyes aren’t called the “windows to the soul” for nothing. In fact, it’s one of the most natural ways for us to express our attraction for someone. Half of the time we don’t even know we’re doing it because we’re so drawn to the person who’s caught our attention. Most of us will lock eyes with someone and not think much of it, so if you want him to know you’re purposely connecting with him, then make sure you’re locking his gaze for five seconds.
While you’re holding his gaze, try to communicate with your eyes. If you’ve got the hots for him, it will probably shine through anyway. Just be sure not to hold eye contact for longer than ten seconds — otherwise you’ll look like a creep.
Step Two: Smile
After you’ve made eye contact, or even during eye contact, smile at him. Smiling while holding his gaze, or smiling then quickly looking away, is a sure-fire flirting technique that lets him know you’re open and approachable.
If you see him on a regular basis, keep smiling at him so he knows you’re being purposeful with your actions. Also, try to reserve a certain smile for him. It sounds silly, but if he sees you smiling the same way at everyone, he might think you’re being friendly and not flirty. So turn on that flirty-coy smile of yours just for him.
Step Three: Say something
Maybe it’s “hi” or maybe it’s a lame-but-funny icebreaker. Whatever it is, if he’s within speaking distance and you’ve made eye contact and smiled, now it’s time to make sure he knows you want to engage. Sometimes all it takes is “hey” and then he’ll do the rest for you, like making that all-important first introduction.
Step Four: Playful touching
Sometimes touch can mean much more than words. Even if you’re talking about banal topics like the weather and what you’re watching on Netflix, by gently placing your hand on his hand or knee for a second or playfully punching him on the arm, you’re signalling to him that you’re interested.
Step Five: Close the conversation
Remember: less is more. You want to leave him wanting more. You don’t want to run out of things to say after your first encounter. While this can be hard to do when you’re first connecting with someone and all you want to do is talk to them until the sun comes up, there is something to be said for leaving a little mystery.
When you feel like you’ve reached the peak of your chat, tell him how much you’ve loved talking to him and how you would like to continue your conversation later. At this point, he should ask for your number. If he doesn’t, don’t sweat it. He might be nervous too. Give him your contact info if it feels right, and then leave him with another sexy smile.
There you have it: with some meaningful eye contact, a coy smile, a simple intro, a little hand grazing, and knowing when to leave him wanting more, you’ve become a bona fide flirt master. The guy won’t know what hit him.